The OUTLook: GL-GL-GL-Glitter Face

Recently a friend of mine ran into a problem with product branding which taught him a very valuable lesson about reading the ingredients label before use. To protect the identity of this person we’ll just call him R.J.

R.J. works in Corporate America amongst the hustle and bustle of the everyday mundane, closing deals and signing contracts with important high rollers on a regular basis. It’s important for R.J. to maintain his appearance and so to enhance his already handsome good looks he uses an array of moisturizers and hair essentials to keep him looking his best. Like every 30-year old who is experiencing the first step into their more distinguished look, R.J. will do whatever it takes to keep what God had graced him with in his 20’s. With the subtlety of the products that R.J. uses he maintains a masculine but youthful appearance that makes women fall in love and men want to copy.

R.J. needed a slight change (we told him not to laugh for fear of those dreaded crows feet, but alas he couldn’t help himself) and added to his daily regiment, an eye cream by Kiehls with “skin brightener” to reflect or deflect those darn wrinkles back at the on-looker.

This product promised to give him a natural glow, which of course would excite any consumer that wants a face as smooth as a baby’s behind. Amazingly, the product did as advertised and R.J. started the new day with a heightened confidence.

Over the course of the week he would go to the gym in the mornings feeling like a kid. He strolled into the office looking like a million bucks. One employee mentioned that he looked “very awake”. He even went out to dinner with a friend in a crowded restaurant where he ran into all the A-listers from around town. R.J.’s only mistake was hugging the overly effeminate owner of the restaurant that pressed a little too tightly against R.J.’s face, somehow leaving a trail of glitter onto his cheek. The situation was easily corrected and R.J. and friends continued on for a big night on the town.

Days later R.J. found himself at the symphony and yet again a friend pointed out “you have glitter on your face.” Blaming yet another friend who had hugged him, he brushed off the comment and his orbital bone.

The next morning R.J. woke to a pillow of sparkles. Could there still be remnants of glitter from the symphony? Did Mariah Carey spend the night? Did a pixie explode in R.J.’s bed?

Nope! Somehow the branding department forgot to mention that “Skin Brighter” equals “Glitter.” This 30-year old ruggedly handsome Stud had been wearing face glitter to the office everyday where he’d have clients wondering if maybe he didn’t get all the make-up off from his drag performance the night before. Not to mention that there was glitter all over his apartment and clothing.

The moral of this story is “Don’t Trust a Label.” Companies will do anything it takes to sell their product…even if it means embarrassing the customer. Read all the ingredients so you know exactly what you are putting onto your precious face. Glitter does in fact make you look younger, but I don’t know many grown men that want to look like a 7-year old girl at a Miley Cyrus concert.