The OUTLook: Are Nipples the New Black?

I used to think that proper gym-wear consisted of loose fitting cotton shorts, a ratty t-shirt, white ankle socks, and a sturdy cross trainer. But No!

Workout enthusiasts have taken Gym Fashion to a whole ’notha level. The big trend that I’m seeing on the Rubber Mats this season is “The Nipple.” It seems like every young, fit guy at the gym has enrolled in a course on how to cut their t-shirt arms so low that it exposes not only a glimpse of that outer ring of pink skin, but the nub itself; kind of like shirts and skins all rolled into one.

Not even the spaghetti strap tanktop is cutting it anymore. It’s all about pink flesh. I’m not saying I don’t like the look, but you know that it’s a problem when a gym actually has to post a sign that says, “No shirts that reveal your nipple will be permitted.” On a positive note, this trend has forced many straight 19 year-old boys to get creative with a pair of scissors. But maybe the nipple should be saved for the steamroom.

Gym fashion dates back far before the creation of the hot pink rubber dumbbell. Olivia made her mark with a skin-tight leotard, tights, and a headband, which has been duplicated countless times over the past 30 years.

Trends come and go but the obvious question is… “Is gymwear appropriate out in the real world?”

The question to ask yourself is “Are you headed to or coming from the gym?” If the answer is no, then put the spandex down!

Even if it’s just standing in line at your favorite coffee shop, I don’t want your sweat soaked unitard rubbing up against me. Your nipple casually leaning over the sample trail mix at Whole Foods does not make me happy! The problem that gym fashion in the real world creates is that WE DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU’VE JUST BEEN.

And perfect make-up and totally coiffed hair doesn’t answer the question because I’ve seen fully done up Trannies on the stair climber for an hour. And they looked fierce! But they probably didn’t smell too good on their way home. There are locker rooms people… and showers, use them!